Vol. 2 No. 40 July 7, 2006


The Bogus Economist
No Party Time



I've mentioned (several times) the fact I was, at one time, young. I have not mentioned nearly as many times the equally relevant facts I was dumb and broke. As proof of the former, I was at the time a smoker. This led to my annoying and persistent habit of mooching (or "bumming") cigarettes from friends and strangers alike. It was on one of these occasions that I learned a valuable lesson in life. I had approached a likely-looking victim in a bar and asked, "Got a cigarette?" He replied, "Yes."
And walked off.
After a minute of stunned silence, I realized the brilliance of his answer. He did not put me down. He told the truth. It didn't cost him a cigarette. It was a stroke of genius. I stored this in my limited memory and the very next day, a guy came up to me and asked if I knew what time it was. I looked at my watch, said, "yes" and walked off.
The lesson is still relevant. One of the great things about registering as an Independent is having the perfect answer when somebody asks if you’re a Republican or a Democrat. Just say, "No."
Being out of the crossfire of the two-party paintball game, one can enjoy the real advantages of independence, primary among these being the ability to recognize the inmates without feeling guilty because you’re part of the asylum.
Just last week, I got a touching letter from Senator John Edwards beginning "Dear Richard," imploring me to "restore our country’s moral leadership in the world" by sending money to the Democratic Party. O.K., John, how about some details? I know how bad George Bush’s presidency is, but exactly how do I get a better one? Are you going to stop the campaign gravy train? Which tax loopholes do you intend to close? What sacrifices are you going to ask from us? Which ones are you going to make? Will you have the innards to challenge some of your big party contributors? Talk to me, John.
As an Independent I can say, "We've got the best government big money can buy and both parties have their heads so deep in the trough, they won't vote for anything that might cost them a buck or a vote." Try that at a Republican or Democratic convention. Speaking of these, I recall when a political convention was a way to compare candidates’ views and wtch the democratic process working to select the best face to put on the posters. Now, it’s a canned, pre-packaged three-day festival of cliches that gives advertisers lots of chances to sell beer, deoderant and anti-gas remedies.
The unsettling feeling that the country is being governed by bozos comes less from the bozos than from the system that produces them - a system that forces candidates to toe the party line, punishes those who dare to think for themselves and consistently puts party ahead of both real patriotism and real people. Such a system attracts bozos like honey attracts ants. Exceptions are rarities. I can think of only about five. When the American people say they hate politics, I think what they mean is they hate political partisanship. Politics is the art of compromise and what’s screwing up politics right now are the Republicans and Democrats.
So what lesson can we all learn from a once young, broke, dumb, smoking Bogus Economist? How about this: suppose Oregonians switched from major parties to Independent until there were more of them than either Reds or Blues? Suppose that happened all over America? Would the political party hacks have the same power? I think not. Why should people commit themselves to a party agenda when the party should be committing itself to theirs? I’m told the Independent vote is important to both parties. O.K., everybody, here I am. Convince me.
Once we get rid of the dinosaurs, we have the opportunity to begin a series of honest debates on virtually every subject under the sun. All of us would have to take responsibility to acquaint ourselves with the would-be candidates and the issues. That’s what newspapers, magazines, podcasts and blogs are for. If this takes too much effort, then we deserve what we’ve got. We’ve tried letting the parties set our priorities. It doesn’t work..
Of course, the idea of shredding our traditional political system sounds revolutionary, so let's consider what we might lose. Well, we might stop hearing name-calling instead of intelligent discussion, spend fewer hours listening to volcanic eruptions from bloated talk-show hosts, not have to see perfectly good ideas disappear because the "other party" came up with them and finally, maybe, have personal principle rather than partisan politics serve as platforms for those running for office. The Jack Abramoff /Tom DeLay School of Government depends on the continued rivalry between obsolete political parties. So why not junk them?
It’s pretty easy to become an Independent.. All you may lose is your vote in the party primaries - and what good has that done you lately? It’s time to declare freedom from the power of the Pachyderm or the dictatorship of the Donkey. Celebrate your independence.
Just don’t have a party.
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The Bogus Economist © 2006  ¶ 10:45 AM